God's calling re-confirmed through a child!!

This is such an amazing comment that I had to share! My cousin's wife, Nancy, commented on my blog post on facebook yesterday....

"Wow. I just read this blog entry and I have to tell you what Elena said a few days ago. She had just finished reading your Christmas letter and asked me what endometriosis was. I gave a brief definition and explained that it can often prevent or make it very difficult for a woman to get pregnant. A few minutes later she came back and said, "I think endometriosis is really a blessing." This took me aback and I asked what she meant. She said, "I think God can use it to open someone's heart to adopt a child that needs a family." It struck me as a very simple perspective on such an emotional issue, and I wondered to myself how you would feel about it being described that way. So, it just blew me away to read your words saying essentially the same thing! I just had to share."

This was something that Elena told Nancy at least a week or so before I was given the same Word by God, yesterday! Wow, is right, Nancy! This wisdom and knowledge that God gives directly to a child is so powerful!! Elena definately has God's hand on her and she is a special young lady! Thank you, Nancy, for sharing this with us. God is in control and we know that this is definately His calling on our lives, espcially after the Word God gave Elena, as well!!

MercyMe - Bring The Rain

A calling confirmed!

It's been a week since Nick's surgery, Christmas has come and gone, and I am once again reminded of God's faithfulness of this past year and throughout my life! I woke up this morning drawn straight to God's Word. It was one of those callings and strongholds that only God could place on my heart. As I sat down to pull out my Bible, I asked God to settle the house, the dogs, and keep Nick asleep, so my focus would be all His. Immediately, both dogs (Jon's parents and ours), found a place and settled in. Thank you Father for this amazing time with You. Near the end of our time together, I asked God, " Do I share all that You have told me this morning?" His reply, "Yes, how else will my name be known and the intimacy others can have with Me be known?" So, straight from my journal and God's heart....

This morning I was drawn to your Word so very strongly and to the book of John. As I read through it, You focused my attention on the words of your Son, Jesus in chapter 9. "Neither the man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in His life." (This was in reference to Jesus healing a blind man that was blind since birth. His blindness was not because of a sin from him or his family, but so that God's glory and healing power could be shown to others, so that they might believe in Him) This is also in reference to the endometriosis that I have that has prevented pregnancy for the past 6 years. We sought a lot of help, but still no answer or pregnancy. The more we sought help from doctors and refused to see God's calling, the worse my health seemed to get with numerous surgeries.
This then brings the song, " Bring the Rain" by Mercy Me. A favorite of mine...

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I prayBring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I prayHoly, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HgAVenbUU

Father, You have put these words on my heart since the day I was diagnosed with endometriosis, yet I refused to hear it fully. I always knew there was a purpose for the suffering. James 1: "Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials (my daughter) because you know that testing of your faith develops perservance..." God spoke straight to me.....

"This has been bringing you wisdom my daughter. The wisdom of my plans for you. Without this suffering, Your heart would not be ready for adoption and my work for you is to care for the orphans, my precious children. You always wanted to adopt, but your timing was not mine and your children (my children) need you sooner than you planned. Your family is my family and I want nothing more than to increase your family to show that I am in control and truly love each and every child. You, Jon, and Nick (yes, Nick too) are chosen by Me to care for my precious children. You will testify as a witness of suffering for my glory. How is Nick involved? Nick is on the forefront of building relationships and loving my orphans, because he was once an orphan, himself. I have given him the gifts of relationships, love, and an underlying wisdom that only comes from Me. He is on this journey with you for a deeper insight for my children. Trust me always, my daughter. Your home will be full of laughter and joy. Persevere and continue to seek my wisdom and plan for you. I will provide!"

This was absolutely powerful for me. A sense of healing and a mission to keep trusting and pursuing God's Calling on our life! I am so incredibly blessed and honored to be called on such an amazing journey in God's path! I am so grateful that I answered his nudge this morning to hear His calling on our life confirmed and to understand Nick's important role in our family! I pray that you will hear or feel God's voice/nudge today!

Nick's surgery journey

Well, today is two days post surgery. Nick had his alvealar bone graft and a nasal-palatal fistula repaired on Monday, Dec. 20th. He was in surgery for approximately 3 hours. Nick and I decided to take pictures throughout his journey to help him remember what had happened, since he could not remember much of his last surgery (velopharyngeal flap) two years ago. After this surgery, I must say our little guy is a trooper! God truly has something big for this special child He brought into our lives!


Nick received many cards and letters from friends and family through the mail and from his classmates at his school. He started opening them the Saturday before his surgery for encouragement and to remind him that he had many friends praying for him! God opened the floodgates with the cards that he receieved! Nick was so excited and so thankful after receiving and reading each card! He still has cards that he has not read, but will continue to read through recovery! Each evening he reads 2 or 3 cards or a stack of handmade cards from one of the classes at this school. We are so thankful for so many wonderful friends in our life for encouraging our little guy.




Nick's principal, Mrs. Elrod, also pitched in to remind Nicholas that he had so many people that loved him and were thinking of him. She got together a basket of 10 small gifts for him to open the day before surgery, the morning of surgery, while at the hospital and each day as he recovers afterward! Nick was so blessed by this, that when he saw the basket he said, "wow, they must really love me!" Nick has loved this and once again, we are so blessed to be part of school that loves their children and go above and beyond for them and their families!


When we arrived at the hospital, we were greeted by five wonderful friends from our church, Shady Grove Church! Pastor Kaye Green (the women's pastor), Pastor Kari Lowrie (the children's pastor), Pastor Niles Holsinger, and two Nick's children's ministry team members! We are so blessed by the love and support that our church has given our family since we have been there! Nick has so many people that love and adore him at church and it showed the morning of surgery!


He got his "hospital PJ's" on and started to prepare for surgery. He was still nervous as he was wheeled back to the pre-op room to start prepping for sugery, talk to the nurses, and the doctor, Dr. Byrd. The gave him his "goofy juice," which caused hiccups and a really strange little boy. He eventually fell asleep, but like always, he fought it!

We waited, what seemed like forever, but was truly only three hours for surgery to end. Dr. Byrd finally came out and announced that Nick did great in surgery and was in recovery. He did mention that he was concerned about the graft taking because there was little tissue to reconnect the graft. This was due to an adult tooth that is sitting right in the middle of where the graft was going. I made the comment, "well, our prayer is that the graft will take and we will not be doing this again." Dr. Byrd said, "yes, we will all be praying that." We know our Doctor is a believer and pray that God finds favor over this surgery and the healing process!

Nick was soon moved to his hospital room, Room 607, where we were greeted by his nurses. He was a pretty good patient, taking his pain medicine without a fight and beginning his fluids with sprite and gatorade. Nick had visitors that evening from the Mansells. He probably doesn't remember much of it, though. That evening, I spent the evening with him, while my dad and Jon went home to rest. Nick felt the need to stay up and watch movies that night, keeping mom up all night. I finally turned the channel to something less appealing and he went to sleep for about 2 and 1/2 hours.

The next morning, he woke up saying, "when can I go home." The nurses reply, "when we know you are getting enough fluids, your pain is under control, and you walk the hallway a few times." Nick was motivated! He got out of bed and started his walk! He was a trooper and of course, caught the eye of all the nurses! He still had his sense of humor and attempted conversation with them all, even though he tired quickly.



We were, eventually, ready to GO HOME! Nick changed his clothes and was excited to get home! Of course, he insisted on the wheelchair ride down to the car, but why not!



When Nick arrived home, he was greeted by a banner that the 3rd graders made for him and signed. We put it in his room as a reminder of all his friends praying for a speedy recovery for him. Nick is home resting and continuing his liquid diet for a couple more days. He has watched lots of movies, including all 4 Home Alone movies, his favorites! We also continue to read through the cards that Nick received as an ecouragement to keep resting to get better soon! Nick's mouth is still a bit swollen and his hip is a bit stiff and sore from where the bone marrow was taken from. He will continue on his pain medication for a couple more days, an antibiotic for 7 days, and a prescription mouth wash for awhile.

Nick's recovery time period is about 3-4 weeks. For the first four days, he is to remain quiet and on a full liquid diet. This is somewhat challenging for a nine-year-old boy, who likes to eat! On the fifth day, Christmas Eve, he will be able to eat soft foods or small cut up foods in the back of his mouth. As far as physical activity, he is not allowed to participate in his gymnastics, basketball, PE, or recess for approximately 3-4 weeks. This will be a challenge to all that reside in the Stewart household, because as most of you know, Nick is a very active child!!

We will know in about 3 months if the bone graft has taken and worked. We visit the orthodontist at this point, who will determine the success of the surgery! Please continue to pray with us that Nick's bone graft takes and will be a complete success! Thanks for travelling this journey with us and for praying for our sweet Nicholas!!

Nick's preparations for surgery....

So we are one day away from Nick's surgery! We asked him this evening how he felt about his upcoming surgery. "I am S-C-A-R-E-D (spelled out)." I asked, "what are you scared about, what part of it?" Nick replied, " I don't know, I'm just scared." Jon and I assured him that this was normal to feel scared and that God was going to be with him the whole time. He didn't want to talk about it after that. We know he is anxious and scared and continue to pray for comfort and peace for him as we get even closer to his surgery.

We did have our pre-op appointment on Thursday, which, in my opinion, proved to be pointless and not helpful at all! With all surgeries that I have had, the pre-op is supposed to explain to you the procedure, what to expect during and after surgery. We did not get any of this information! I am so used to Children's Medical Center and how thorough they are that I guess we were spoiled! I'm going to give Medical City the benefit of the doubt, since they are new at this, but I still feel uneasy not knowing what to expect, whether we are staying the night, etc. I know that we have one of the best Cranialfacial doctors, so we are going to stick through it. I wish I had more to tell you about the surgery and if we were staying the night, but I just don't know. You will have to watch for facebook posts and updates to see what happens! Nick did take pictures at pre-op!

I do have to say that Nick goes to an amazing, loving, and giving school! Every grade/class at the school wrote/made cards for Nicholas for his surgery. His classroom had a professional banner for him with all his classmates signatures on it for him to come home to. The principal, Mrs. Elrod, gave me a basket loaded with little wrapped presents for Nick to open before and after surgery. I asked why and her response, "We want Nick to know that we love him and are thinking about him during this scary time!" Wow, so wonderful. I haven't given or told Nick about these, yet, because we will start these tomorrow. In addition, I asked for friends and family to send him a little card or note just saying they were praying for him. Nick got so many cards! I have hidden those as well, and he will begin opening those tomorrow. Again, we are so blessed by our family and friends that are praying for our special little guy! I will post pictures soon!

We will continue to keep you updated! thanks for your prayers for our little guy!!

Adoption update

So...we have so many things going on right now that I am going to have to post two seperate postings to tell you what has been going on!

God has truly blessed us in our adoption process! Our Hand in Hand matching grant was matched and then some! We were able to raise $11, 645 with this grant! God is so good and he has truly blessed us with amazing family and friends! This puts us half way to where we need to be to have full funds for our precious little baby. I know that God will help provide the remainder...I know in my heart He is going to provide 100%.

Jon and I have been researching and praying over how to raise the final funds. After talking with our adoption consultant, Tracie, we believe that we are suppose to apply for another matching grant through Lifesong. I will begin their application after Nick's surgery (see my next posting). I know that we had many friends and family that were unable to give this through this past grant, so now there is another opportunity to sow into the life our child. I will keep you posted!

In addition this I also sent out another application to another agency in Utah, which puts us on list number 4. Only God knows where our precious little one will be born! I will also start working on our baby's room after the first of the year, so if anyone has furniture that they are trying to get rid of...we would love help you out!

Well, that is what is happening in the Stewart adoption process, currently! We continue to trust in God's will for our family and in His precious timing. thanks for you prayers!!

Anxious Hearts

Please, Lord settle our anxious hearts.

"Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God." - Phillipians 4:6

I know this blog is, for the most part, about our journey to adopt, but Nicholas is part of our journey as well. Most of you know that our son, Nick, was adopted by Jon and I in 2008, after my mom passed away. He was the foster son of my mom, until she adopted him at age three. Little did we know that God's calling for us to adopt started when Nicholas made his debut in my mother's home when he was nearly 3 months old. Since then, Nicholas has become part of our journey on God's calling for our family to adopt. Nicholas was a "spunky" little guy who refused to give up on life. Brought to my mother as a "failure to thrive," pale, protruded ribs, and a bloated tummy from malnourishment, he seemed to beat all the odds of every doctor. His cleft palate and lip were still unrepaired.... We looked into the face of this child and said, "God has something amazing for you and we can't wait to find out." From the beginning, Nick's little life has been a fight, but he has a strong will and a will power that overcomes any obstacle! Nick is only 9 years old and has had 3 surgeries on his mouth and at least 3 sets of tubes put into his ears. He has seen a number of doctors/specialists for hip dysplasia, a congenital cataract, growth hormone deficiancy, speech delays, and so on. Just recently, his optometrist informed us that there is a possibility that he could also have retinaschiosis, color changes and/or seperation of the layers of the retina. Our prayer is that this is not the case, but we will keep you posted!

My heart is restless, as we quickly approach one of Nick's last major surgeries for his cleft palate, his alvealor bone graft. This morning, I woke up with a knot in my stomach, unsure of the reason, until the verse above sprung into my heart and mind from the Lord. I am anxious and nervous about Nick's surgery. My sweet baby, who has been through so much already, is going to have another surgery! I know that Nick is anxious and does not know how to express it, so his behavior has changed lately, but I know how to express it....with extreme humility and hope from our Father above!
Please, lift our little one up in prayer this week and on December 20th (12pm) during his surgery. Please pray for peace for Jon and I, wisdom, steady hands, and endurance for the doctors, and comfort for Nick.

So, in the midst of our adoption journey, our sweet boy, Nicholas, needs your prayers as he endures, yet another surgery. His mom might need a little prayer too.....

Thanks for your prayers and love for our sweet and precious Nicholas.

A lesson in patience...

As we continue to wait on God's perfect timing for our child, our neighbors a couple doors down welcomed home their little boy this past Friday through adoption. A similar fertility story as ours, but with numerous miscarriages and older in age. We are so excited for them, because they have been waiting/trying for almost 11 years! Jon and I were so happy for them and their new little one, while at the same time anxious for our baby to come home to us. We know that it is all in God's perfect timing and will continue to trust Him. I know in my heart that God wants everything to be perfect, meaning all of the funding will be there, the room will be ready, Nick will be recovered from surgery, and the baby will be full term! I trust my Lord and Savior that He is in control!
Until then...I will enjoy this time with our first son...our precious gift, Nicholas!







Nick is always posing for a picture!!


Nick and I at ICE at the Gaylord!