This journey was simply about our complete obedience and whole hearted faithfulness to follow God into deep waters. We simply decided to say 'Yes' when He said to move. This is Isaiah's story: (names have been changed out of love and respect)
Isaiah's journey began with trembling and scary feeling of discernment with me. We were suppose to go on a business trip for Jon's work, but I was absolutely rattled that for some reason we were not suppose to go. I spent days praying, crying, and reaching out to my dear friends for guidance before sitting down with Jon to pour out my uneasiness for this trip. After much prayer and seeking The Lord, Jon decided to cancel the trip, but instead take us to the Hill country to spend much needed time away to pray and to seek the Lord about our family. After this trip, it was made clear that God was pressing on my heart, not fear or the enemy.
While we were in the Hill Country, we spent much needed time resting and sitting outside overlooking the beautiful fall colors and countryside. On the afternoon of October 25th, Jon and I decided to take our journals, Bibles, and worship music to one of our favorite spots at the resort overlooking the hills and just pray, worship, and listen to the Lord. We both encountered God, but Jon's encounter was extremely amazing: (excerpts from Jon's journal)
"I am still confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord." Psalm 27; 13-14
The Lord: Walk in my will and in my way and the blessings will flow.
Jon: But, Lord have we not done that? Three adoptions and we've talked about adopting more, but maybe not yet.
The Lord: Why not yet? Did I say not yet?
Jon: No I just wasn't listening to hear you say adopt again.
The Lord: Well, you're listening now.
Jon: Lord, I'm just trying to adjust to life, 3 kids, bigger house, bigger mortgage, higher work goals.
The Lord: Look, Jonathan what lies before you (scenery of the hill country). I created every tree, every leaf, every hill, every rock, every speck of dirt. Nothing happens apart from me. I hold your life in my hand. My scripture says to wait on me, not to wait on you, complete trust, true faith. It's not about waiting on yourselves to be ready. It's about moving forward in faith knowing I will lead the way.
As Jon shared this with me, all I could do was cry. Feelings of overwhelming inadequacy flooded me, yet a feeling of peace filled my heart. We sat in prayer and complete worship for another 30 minutes or so and decided to wait on Him with what we were to do next.
On our drive home, tears of humility, honor, inadequacy, joy washed over me. My thoughts wandered into the question of why us, Lord? Why now? How am I going to be able to handle another adoption? I became overtaken with thoughts of "I can't do this, I am unworthy of this." Then He reminded with such kindness and directness : You are able to do this and only with me and my strength can you do it. Trust and follow me." This is when we heard the above quote from Graham Cooke:
"Our God is consistent, but also unpredictable. God has called you to see the invisible and do the impossible, God has not called you to do the things you can do, but he has called you do the things you will never be able to do in a million years. Only He can do it. He has called you to live in his faithfulness."
On our way home, we sought the Lord as to what we were suppose to do first. He clearly spoke to us both and told us, "Take this one step at a time and do only as I tell you to do, nothing more, nothing less. Trust me." We were to contact four people, alone: our Case worker to start our home study, Jon's parents, and two of my dear friends for consistent prayer.
As we entered back into our lives of chaos and fast pace life, God continued to pursue and push us forward. As we began to make contacts, we began to worry about what others would think. They are going to think we are crazy to adopt a fourth! What in the world are you doing? Izzy isn't even one yet. This began to eat at my mind, until the Lord directed Jon to His Word: "For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." 1 Corinthians 1:25 The impossible and simply out of the box desires of God are always within reach with Him alone. We chose to continue to trust and obey Him.
We sought out our caseworker, started preparing our documents, background checks, and medicals for the homestudy. As part of a homestudy, medical forms have to be filled out on every member of the family. This seemed impossible for me because I had no other reason to take my children to the pediatrician other than to have this form filled out. I asked the Lord to give me wisdom on how I was to complete their medicals. That same evening as I was taking Nick to his gym, Nick said to me, "mom, look at my toe. It hurts so bad and it's oozing something." Needless to say, we now had a reason to see the pediatrician and have our medicals filled out. God opened a door, when I tried to close it. At that moment, I knew God was in complete control and this adoption was all about Him and was going happen regardless of me.
A few days following this, the Lord spoke to me: "Continue to rest in my presence and peace, daily, yet pursuing the mission I have set you on. Adoption. This is about me completely, this time. Your family will grow, but the timing, the situation, the adoption is all Me this time. Continue to listen to me for each step to take. I am moving at my pace, quickly, steadfast, and perfectly. Flow with me and follow me and I will carry you through."
During the next week or so, we continued to listen to the Lord, yet move forward in our lives with our children. God continued to sow into our hearts His heart for adoption and weave it so deeply in our souls and hearts in preparation for Isaiah.
"Adoption goes much deeper than increasing your family, Tiffany. Adoption is my hand selected, chosen, predestined children to live in my presence, my glory, and my kingdom. I have chosen you and Jon to raise them and guide them into my kingdom and to listen fully to Me. I have chosen them to be loved by you, but more importantly I have chosen them to bring glory to me, to fulfill my purpose, make me known. Raise them with overflowing love and compassion, with sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, and to know Me and my presence."
Thanksgiving approached without anymore direction from The Lord, except to wait and then I happened upon a post on Facebook. Of all the places...God continued His adoption through Facebook! I always say, "God has a sense of humor!"
On December 4th I wrote:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55: 8-9
In the past week, Lord, you have turned our lives into this amazing whirlwind of trusting you and learning to completely let you lead in every moment. I met a woman through Facebook, of all places, who was seeking adoption for her nephew. As I read her post, I heard your voice directly, "Pray over her, contact her, and guide her." I entered into their lives as a new friend, prayer warrior, and a guide through adoption. Carol had posted on FB that her sister in law was pregnant and wanted to place her baby for adoption and they had no idea what or who to go to for this. My heart was drawn to her. I met with Rebecca (who was very emotional) and her her sister in law, Carol, on a Sunday late afternoon. I had the honor of praying over them and talking with them about adoption and giving them advice. I walked away knowing God's hand was there. I continued to pray from them and for God to give them wisdom and guidance as they were meeting with a potential adoptive family. Through it all, I had complete peace that it was all your will not my own. The meeting with the other family did not go as well as she had hoped, which led her to ask Jon and I to adopt baby "Max."
Father, I feel so overwhelmed, yet at peace, so nervous, yet excited. Lord, you are my strength and my peace. Your will, not my own. Please give us wisdom and guidance.
At this point, only our close friends knew about this and then the Lord pressed into our hearts to seek out a group of prayer warriors to pray fervently over Rebecca, Carol, baby, and over us. These warriors became an integral part of Isaiah's life before He made his appearance.
The following day, Carol, the sister in law, whom Rebecca was living with at this time, revealed to me that Rebecca had been using drugs all throughout her pregnancy. She hasn't used since she has been living with her, as far as she knew. I vividly remember this conversation as I was driving to swim lessons and my heart, mind, body were frozen in fear. I started questioning everything! I hesitantly told Jon, knowing he would not be open to it, but told him then went into swim lessons. On our way home, I turned up my worship music and worshipped the Lord through prayer and song asking Him to speak and give us wisdom.
Lord, what do we do?? Dear Tiffany. Trust me. You will call him Isaiah Maximus, because I am his greatest salvation! I have saved him from the depths of the darkness. "In the shelter of your presence you hide them from the intrigues of men; in your dwelling you keep them safe from accusing tongues." Psalm 31:20We continued to press into the Lord and trust Him with this adoption and sent out our newest prayer request: Protection and wisdom.
On December 10th, I received a frantic call from Carol that Rebecca was deciding to spend the night with her boyfriend and supplier of the drugs. Carol was terrified that she would do drugs with him and it would harm the baby. We, too, began to become worried, but decided to press in and pray fervently and reach out to our group of prayer warriors! God moved and intervened!!
The very next day, she came back and told Carol that as soon as she got to the hotel, she started vomitting non stop...meaning she was unable to take any drugs! Perhaps not the way I would have done things, but God has his own ways of protecting his children! Jon and I were completely floored by this and knew, Isaiah and Rebecca were chosen by Him for a beautiful purpose!
We continued to pray over and with them and prepare our hearts for baby's arrival, when yet another twist came into the story to show God's extreme faithfulness and glory would prevail! On December 17th, Carol and Rebecca met with the social worker working with the lawyer and at the last minute decided they wanted to go an agency route, instead of a direct placement. What this means is that Rebecca would receive money/assistance for up to 6 weeks after baby is born. This also meant that the cost to adopt went up exponentially for us. We prayed and again, reached out to our prayer warriors for God's wisdom. In our hearts, we knew this was not the direction God wanted us, so we had to release this into his hands completely, knowing we could not afford this route and that either God would provide or circumstances would take a different directions. Rebecca was not happy with our decision, but we knew God was ultimately in control and we continued to pray for her and baby, not knowing what would happen.
On December 20th, I was sitting at home with a very sick Izzy praying fervently, "Lord if this is meant to be please let Rebecca go into labor quickly and make this decision for her." This became the prayer of our warriors as well!
At 9:30p, I got a frantic call and text from them, saying that Rebecca's water broke!! Rebecca said, "I will do direct placement, I want to place my baby with you and Jon. Please come to the hospital! Once again, God moved!! I called Jon, who was at his parents, and he rushed home! We made it to the hospital with about 10 minutes to spare before they took her back! The last thing she said before going back was, "Tiffany, I prayed this morning, Father if you want Jon and Tiffany to have baby Max, please let me go into labor today." Guess what?! The Lord answered her. An hour after that prayer Rachel's water broke! The amazing thing... this is the first time (she has three other children) that her water broke with her pregnancy.
Mr. Isaiah made his debut at 11:50p. He was beautiful! Quiet at first, but after a thorough exam, he looked perfect! The hospital kept a very close eye on little bits, but he never had any withdrawal symptoms and appeared perfectly healthy! God's protection on this child has been nothing short of a miracle and we know that God's plan for Isaiah is going to far exceed anything we can ever imagine! We are still in complete awe of God's faithfulness, protection, and glory in this journey to Isaiah! I want to ask you. Jon and I pray Ephesians 3:20-21 over each of you as you read this.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen!"
Photos courtesy of Jaime Truman with www.truphotography.me.
Embroidery courtesy of Sherri Kring with Chloe's Wings. (The words on gown and title of this blog are words spoken to Sherri from the Lord, before we brought Baby Isaiah home. )
