"Be Joyful in Hope, Patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

  This past week has been filled with blessings and downfalls for our family, which makes for an exhausting week.  God blessed us beyond our expectations at the beginning of the week, knowing that we were about to walk through some trials intended to stretch our hearts into more trusting, leaning, and seeking Him.  Hmm...interesting how God knows us so well!

On Sunday, Jon and I attended a Habitation service for Gateway in Southlake.  After the enemy kept trying to prevent us from going, we picked ourselves up and attended the most refreshing, renewing, and encouraging service we have attended in awhile!  The worship was amazing!  The testimonies of healing brought tears to our eyes and hope in our hearts!  The prayers for specific healing gave us a complete trust and belief that God has healed us!  We stood in the threshold for family, friends, and then for ourselves.  God moved in that service and we were personally touched!  I wasn't going to share our personal experience through this, but I feel this is how God will be glorified when God's promise is fulfilled.  There were Words of healing for many different illnesses, physical, mental, etc.  One of the pastors stood up and spoke a Word of Healing for couples dealing with infertility and the desire to get pregnant.  I looked at Jon and felt our time had past for this and our calling is now adoption.  Well, God answered that response with, "You may not think you can't get pregnant, because you have been dealing with it for so long and you feel you have moved on, but God's desire is still deep within you."  Ok, Lord...here we are!  Let's stand and declare that I am healed and you will pursue us!  As we stood for healing and for pregnancy, Tears streamed down my face.  I'm not sure if this was joy, sadness, fear, excitement or what, but I chose to depend completely on God in this situation and just let go of my desires and assumptions that I "thought" God wanted for me and believe that He is almighty and He is good!  We continued to worship and declare/pray for healing over many people in this service.  God moved!!
As we were getting ready to leave, weaving through the thousands of people that attended this service, a lady, Grace is her name, came up behind me and tap me on the shoulder.  I turned and she reached out to me and says, "I wanted to tell you, that God gave me a Word for you this evening.  He says you are healed and you will be pregnant soon."  My response as I'm holding back tears, "Really?! (my doubt!!)"  "Yes," she answers.  I asked her what her name was and gave her mine and just pulled her in for a hug, thanking her over and over for her courage and obedience.  Grace's name and face will be forever in my mind!  God enabled her to find me through the crowds of thousands ...rewind a bit..she was sitting down the aisle from me in the sanctuary... and give this encouraging Word from God... keep trusting and obeying me through adoption, because I'm not done with you yet and your deepest desires are still mine.  Your heart for adoption is not my only desire for you.  This was so encouraging for Jon and I.
This was the beginning of a few more blessings that occurred, but then the trials hit us.  Some dealing with Jon's job, our adoption with different situations, our kids, sickness, etc. I'm not going to lie, they were difficult and filled my mind with doubt, anxiety, and a feeling of confusion, but God woke me this morning, reminding me, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12.  I went to my knees a lot this week, but then slowly let my fears interfere with what God was trying to teach me.  It brings me back to his Word, "Trust in me with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding...."

"Father, my life is yours!  I release my anxieties, hopes, and desires into your hands.  You do know the plans for me, not to harm, but to prosper.  You are refining my soul through trust and complete dependence on You. Thank you for never giving me anything that you know I can't handle, but giving me just enough to stretch my faith and complete trust in You."

Quick update on our adoption:  We have been shown to one birth mom, but was not a match for her.  Currently, we are being shown to a birth mom, whom is pregnant with a little one that we do not know the gender of.  Those of you who know me, know my extreme desire to adopt a little girl.  We felt God lead us to trust in Him and to be shown to her, regardless, because He knows what our family looks like and not us!  Trusting fully in Him.  

If you still have the desire to help us with our adoption, please let me know how you can fill our gap.

Trusting in God's Promises,
Tiffany