Miracles still happen ....

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will  be opened." 

                                                                                                                         -- Matthew 7:7-8

I'm sure most of you have come to realize when I post in our blog that God is about to move or is moving within our family.  Well, you are absolutely right! God has proven once again that He is so incredibly faithful and good as we continue to walk in extreme faith and trust in His plan alone and not our own.  

Let us begin with how God has brought our family through some major hurdles that could only be overcome with trust and faith in Him.   

We discovered six months into marriage (spring of 2004) that Tiffany had stage 4 (5 is the worst) endometriosis. Surgery removed it, and her doctor encouraged us to try and get pregnant. She said that the chances for success were higher now since all the endometriosis had been cleaned out. However, it did not happen, and the disease grew back, So came a second surgery and then a third.

By 2006, we were seeing a fertility specialist. After other unsuccessful fertility treatments, we opted to do invitro fertilization. I remember waiting by the phone all day and then getting the call. "I am so sorry the test came back negative." Our hearts were broken. Our spirits crushed. I remember saying the words, "God must hate us." What other reason could there be that we could not get pregnant? Throughout these three years, we had prayed diligently for pregnancy and had others praying for us. We had meditated upon the passage in Psalm 37:4. "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." So, I asked God, "Since we are following you Lord, how come you are not giving us the desire of our heart?" To reveal the answer, the Lord took us on an incredible journey. 

We put the pregnancy quest on the back burner for the next few years. The passing of Tiffany's mother and then our subsequent adoption of her adopted son, Nicholas took our lives on a different course. By 2010, we had established some normalcy with Nick, and we decided that he needed a sibling. Still not pregnant, we considered going the fertility route again, but the Lord had other plans. 

In February 2010, Lou Engle gave an impassioned message on the church taking an active role in adoption in America to end abortion in America. I felt the Lord say in my spirit, "Jonathan, that message is for you and Tiffany." My heart nearly leaped out of my chest. I wept as I went to the front of our church to pledge our lives to the Lord's plan for our family. 

What followed were the adoptions of our three other children: Elijah in June 2011, Isabel, in  December 2013, and Isaiah, in December 2014. Each adoption has it own amazing story (and own blog post for that matter), but let me quickly go back to something the Lord showed me during our calling to adopt Isaiah. In October 2014, Tiffany and I were having a getaway to spend time together to seek the Lord for the direction of our family. Our desire to get pregnant remained strong and we spent time together expressing that to the Lord. 

First, He gave us a verse, Psalm 27:13-14. "I am still confident of this. I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

The Lord had been incredibly good to us. We had three beautiful, healthy children, but to the both of us, our family still felt incomplete. What follows in an excerpt from my journal that October day.

             I asked of the Lord, "Does Your goodness involve us getting pregnant and giving birth to a                 healthy, strong baby?"

           "My child, I always desire life."

            I asked, "So,then why aren't we pregnant or have ever gotten pregnant?"

            "Because in your and Tiffany's case pregnancy can't precede the promise." 

             The promise..."Walk in My Will and My Way and the blessings will flow."

What followed then was God's call for us to adopt again although we weren't ready because it was His will/desire for us. His desire which quickly became our desire. So, followed little Isaiah two months later. But, "the promise" the Lord spoke to me is something that I will come back to shortly.

Fast forward to a year later - October 2015. We have four beautiful, healthy children, and we are satisfied with our family. However, the desire to get pregnant still lingers. Something awesome to know is that Tiffany no longer has endometriosis! The Lord healed her from it back in 2013 we believe. So, she has had a clean bill of health from her doctor for a couple years now yet still not pregnant. So, we decide if we cannot get pregnant within the year, it may be time for Tiffany to get a hysterectomy. The emotional pain of being reminded monthly that she is not pregnant is getting to be too much for her to bear after hoping and praying for eleven and a half years. I gave her my support, and we prayed again for pregnancy the same way we had prayed for the last eleven and half years. And then.........IT HAPPENED!

We can't believe our eyes with the first pregnancy test, but there is a faint second line.

Just to confirm, we take another the next morning, and it says "YES" ! Wow, we are pregnant. We are really pregnant. Praise the Lord! Jesus you are unfailing, faithful and forever good!

The goodness of the Lord had been revealed to us more and more through each adoption, and now it had come full circle with our pregnancy. Let me further explain. You remember when I asked the Lord during our darkest hour, "If we are delighting ourselves in You Lord, then why are You not giving us the desires of our heart?" The problem with my question to the Lord was that I misunderstood His Truth found in that passage, Psalm 37:4. Through our incredible journey, God taught me and Tiffany that if we truly delighted ourselves in Him and became captivated fully in His presence then the desires of our heart would be His desires for us. Going back to "the promise" spoken to us in October 2014, "Walk in My Will and My Way and the blessings will flow." The Father's Will and Way (desires) for us was to adopt first...well first, second, third and fourth. Something I asked Tiffany the other day was, had we gotten pregnant sooner, would there be an Elijah, an Izzy, an Isaiah? Proverbs 16:9 reads, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." From the beginning, we thought we knew the right way to build a family, but the Father knew the best way for us. We cannot imagine our lives without our Nick, Elijah, Izzy, and Isaiah. Praise Jesus for them!

Now, I want to be clear in saying that our journey from infertility to adoption to pregnancy is not every couple's journey that struggles with infertility. The Lord has a unique calling for each of us. However, I hope this encourages you if you are reading it and you are struggling with infertility. The Father loves you beloved! He is not mad at you! He has not forgotten about you! But let's face it, God is so unpredictable and such a mystery, which is what makes Him....well God. You've probably have read Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord." But have you read the rest of it? Verse 10, "As the rain and snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." 

So, if the Lord has given you a word about becoming pregnant, cling to it! His Words do not return null and void, but they bear fruit!

 From the beginning of our marriage, we had a desire to become pregnant. When we could not get pregnant, we asked of the Lord, "Lord if you don't want us to become pregnant, then take that desire away." However, He did not take away the desire. Instead, He backed up our desire with various prophetic words from others over the years stating that "You will get pregnant!" So, another thing the Lord taught us through this long journey is to pray, pray some more, and keep praying. Persistent prayer is key as stated in Matthew 7:7-8. Ask, Seek, Knock is actually translated in the Greek as Ask and Keep Asking, Seek and Keep Seeking, Knock and Keep Knocking. (I gleaned that tidbit from one of my pastor friends). Your answer is coming beloved! Don't give up. 

So we are happy to announce that after 12 years, we are pregnant!  Our due date is July 17th and only 3 days shy of Tiffany' mom's birthday on the 20th!