Wow! It's been a year!

Wow! It's been a year since this journey began! We can't believe it either! Many ups and downs have happened throughout this past year, but a lot of new wisdom and lessons taught. You truly don't realize the process and toll that adopting can take on you until you have been through it. At least that is how we feel now....and we aren't on the other side, yet!

Well, with a year anniversary comes a lot more paperwork and things to do.....AGAIN! The state of Texas (and just about any state now) requires you to keep your homestudy, background checks, and all other clearances updated once a year. This means....our local caseworker, Amy, will be paying another home visit to our family to complete another homestudy...this will be our 3rd one, including the one we had done for Nicholas's adoption. I guess we just need to set a yearly date with Amy, since we will continue to expand our family through adoption periodically.. So....we meet with Amy on Tuesday evening to talk about what has happened in the last year, if we continue to feel the same about adoption, if any health issues have popped up, and every other detail of our lives. In addition, we have an appointment Monday afternoon to have our fingerprints done for our Texas criminal background checks and clearances. We also will fill out forms for the child abuse/neglect clearances for the state so they can run those. Don't forget we have to be fingerprinted for the FBI, too. For this one we get to pay a visit to the local police station and get fingerprinted! Sounds like fun doesn't it? One day, we will be able to do all of this in one step.....we can only hope. Let me remind you...we have already done all this twice before..... On a positive note...at least I am off for the summer so I can take of this stuff rather quickly.

So, those are the facts! Now what about the feelings about all this? Well, how would you feel going through this for your children on a yearly basis? It really puts things into perspective for families that have a family through adoption. Bringing our babies home is not a 9 month waiting period of excitement! It has it's many ups and downs...and...it last twice as long.....as long as 18 months for some. I continue to pray that people's hearts continue to soften for adoption for the many children waiting to come home to their forever families. I pray for the couples that easily conceive their children will be able to see God's heart for the families that adopt their children and can offer support, love, and understanding into their longing to bring their children home.

Okay, okay....Jon and I have been very frustrated the last couple of weeks, just knowing that we have to do all of this again, without our baby! We have to remind ourselves, daily, to give it over to God. Today was a little more difficult for me, though. As I waited on answers, I kept asking God, "Please, Lord...still my restless, controlling heart. This is in your hands, not my own. Your plan is so perfect and I trust You in your timing!" Honestly, that was not easy. I think I repeated that about 50 times in a matter of 2 hours! Each time, I felt God comforting me and telling me, "I have this. Trust me." He sure did. I got all my questions answered and appointments made for our homestudy. One step done!

As far as birthmoms seeing our profile.....it is starting to pick up again for the number of possible children up for adoption. We continue to wait on the Lord for His perfect timing and the perfect child for the Stewart family. I don't normally mention this on here, but we are, possibly, being shown to a birthmom this weekend. As always, our hearts are guarded, but our hope remains in the Lord. Please pray with us for this precious birthmom as she makes a difficult decision for a child and for God's perfect plan for our family. (Perhaps, a little prayer of God's favor over our family, too, as she looks through profiles? ;) ) All we know is that it is out of our hands.....

As I was writing this, Nick began writing a small note of how this whole process has affected him. I ask for his permission to put it in here for you, so that you can see the heart of our child.

"Our adoption is scary. I felt like we were not going to a baby. But my mom and my dad did not get scared. I don't care if the baby is a boy or a girl. I don't care if the baby is African American or white. It is in God's time. I was adopted and it was easy for my mom and to choose me. If they hadn't picked me, I would still be in a foster home. There were hundreds of me's, but they chose me. So I am just hoping that God will let us have a baby and if not soon, then we will keep waiting for our adoption." --- Thanks you, by: Nicholas

Wow! We are so truly blessed by such an amazing child! I am so thankful that he is a part of this journey with us, because I love his child like perspective and thoughts throughout.

Again, we are so blessed for so many family and friends who are truly supporting us in our journey through prayer, emotional support, and with finances. Our God is so amazing!! We are beyond blessed by His goodness each and every day. Let me leave you with what Jon and I say each morning in our prayer time together.

"Lord, our hope is in You, not in what lies in front of us or behind us. We continue to trust You in every aspect of our lives."