A Divine Appointment

If you are sitting down to read our blog for the first time...well, welcome to our story! I want you to know that this blog was set up to follow the details of our adoption process that brought our amazing little boy, Elijah home, but God has made it very clear to our family that our journey has just begun! Yes, we may be in a waiting period...waiting on God's voice to tell us to move again for His next child, but each day is a calling from God and God wants to know how you answer each day He places in front of you.

As our church is preparing for our Zoe Foundation Banquet, a banquet held to share God's heart for adoption, but also to help raise money for families who want to adopt chidlren into their home! This banquet is very special to Jon and I, because two years ago at this same banquet God affirmed his calling of adoption for our family! And...through the donations made at the previous banquet, our final gap of funding was filled to bring our baby boy Elijah home, without a single loan! We were so incredibly blessed and still are through our church's Zoe Foundation! Please let me know if you are interested in attending this banquet on February 24th at 6:30pm. You will not regret your decision to come and experience the Father's heart for adoption.

So back to my day to day calling.... As most of you know I am blessed to only work part time and stay home with Elijah the other days. I have learned that each day, whether it is at work or at the grocery store or wherever, God brings people into your life for specific purposes. Perhaps it's for a split second, a minute, a day, a week, a few months, a year, several years, or a lifetime. Whatever the timeframe, in our eyes, God sees these "divine appointments" as exactly that...your appointment with God and this person has been set and must not be missed. Does that make sense? For example, Elijah and I frequent the new Kroger down the street from our house, quite a bit, just to get out and the workers there are super friendly. Most of the time, I use the self check out, but for some reason we decided to go through the line one specific day. As we approach the checkout, the cashier sees Elijah and comments on how sweet and good he is. My comment, "yes I am completely blessed by this child God has given us." I then continued to share how he was adopted....the cashier was blessed in that moment...."thank you for that, you made my day." Simple....but an appointment kept. Here's another in a store appointment....Elijah and I wander through Babies R Us at times too. I actually wander around looking for the soon to be moms that have that look of puzzlement and stress on what they need to get or do.... Well, this one day while looking through the aisles for a baby shower gift, Elijah and I walked down an aisle with a woman, perhaps in her 50s, carefully looking over highchairs and jumpers. You could tell she was a bit confused. Of course as we walk by Elijah squeals, she turns around and comments on how sweet he is. God made it clear...this is your appointment for today... I simply asked how she was and what she was looking for. She was confused on some items and didn't get the right thing for her daughter's baby (her granddaughter) and wanted to replace it. We may not be asking her if she is a believer, but we are being a servant for the Lord. We walked through the different things she was looking at and I gave her insight on what we had and what I truly loved about them. I again shared our adoption story and she said, after the help in finding the right items and giving her our time, Thank you so much for taking your time to help me and share that with me. I would have been here for hours if you didn't say something to me. Again...simple and just a little help. These are split second encounters that will affect their thoughts and lives, leaving them wondering why someone cares so much to help or encourage them. So these encounters can happen everyday, but sometimes there are appointments that God sets for long term. I have had many of those and have cherished each one of them.

Here is one that started during our adoption process.....

My amazing massage therapist, Laura, is a very special appointment to me. About half way through our adoption process I started having extreme neck and shoulder pain. We tried physical therapy with no results, so I decided to try a deep massage. My appointment was set with Laura for my massage, but God had a bigger plan for this initial "divine appointment." Laura is a sweet and beautiful woman who I knew God had a specific purpose for the minute I walked in the room. Unsure of the journey for her, I prayed and began to open my heart as God was leading me. Over the next few months, I began to share Jon and my story of fertility, sickness, family deaths, and our current adoption journey. Throughout this time, Laura opened her heart to share with me her and her husband's struggle to get pregnant and the decision of whether or not to adopt. All I could do was pray that God would open their hearts to His plan for them and give them a clear direction. Well, at our last appointment, Laura came to me and said, "Guess what? My husband wants to adopt! He was against it before, but after I kept bringing your stories and information home, he is very excited about it." I continue pray for Laura and pray that God will continue to guide their hearts on their adoption journey! My heart right now hopes that they will join us at our banquet and meet others that have walked in their shoes too! It's amazing how God can use a pain in the neck to glorify Him!

I hope that I am able to instill these "divine appointments" in the hearts of my children. My prayer is that they see each individual in their lives as a child of the Most High and to learn to listen to God's heart for a divne appointment. I know Nick is learning this in pieces, but I pray that God truly opens his mind to what He can do through him.

Their are so many people that have stepped in and out of my life in just the right moments! These amazing people have not only blessed me, but I know God's hand was right in the middle of our "divine appointments" with each other. Please leave a note, if you feel God set a divine appointment with you and me in the last five or so years! You know who you are.....

On that note....Elijah and I are about to head to the grocery store to find God's appointment for the day....when will yours be?

A new year...another journey...

A new year...another journey.... Our family has thoroughly enjoyed bringing in 2012 as a family of 4! Elijah has been an amazing addition to our family and for him we are so incredibly blessed!! Let me give you a brief update on our two amazing children first!

Nicholas.... WOW! Such a talented young man! He started his first gymnastics meet season in November and has absolutely blown us away with his capabilities! This past fall, we walked into his pediatrician's office sharing with him some of Nick's educational difficulties, due to his learning disability and ADHD. The doctor asked to see some of what Nick was working on and asked how his school was helping him. His doctor was absolutely blown away at what Nick was capable of doing, despite his learning disability! The doctor's comment to me, "Mom, you are doing amazing with this young man! I am extremely pleased at how he is doing, because to be honest, your mom and I weren't sure of what he would be capable of doing when he was first placed in her care. Nick is doing things that he wasn't sure he was ever capable of doing academically!" That being said, he went on to say that his teacher is doing an outstanding job with Nick and to keep him in this school as long as possible, since he is progressing so wonderfully. Perhaps behind his peers, but progressing! Great confidence booster for Jon and I...thank you Lord as our hearts were beginning to become heavy with what to do with him. As we continued to discuss Nick, I pulled up some gymnastics pictures of Nick at his first meet! The doctor's comments, "What?! That's Nick? Oh my, Nick! You are amazing!" Again, Nick has beaten all odds and is doing something beyond what was expected of him! When Dr. Raine first met Nick, he was this failure to thrive, undernourished, skin and bones baby, with a severe hip dysplasia, a cataract in his eye, and cleft lip and palate! What!? This child with a cataract in his eye is competing in gymnastics competively?! On top of that, he is competing with kids, numerically his age at 10, but physically and developmentally 4 years ahead of him! You see, Nick's growth hormone deficiency is still very delayed. Therefore, we have a 10 year old boy in the body of a 6 year old (according to his bone scan). He is competing with boys whose bodies are capable of doing more than a 6 year old body is capable of doing, yet still seems to hang with these boys competively! We don't tell Nick this, because we like that he pushes himself to improve and become even more passionate about this sport he loves! I always say this about Nick, but in my heart, I truly believe this....God has something amazing for Nick's life and I cannot wait to see what happens! I love this quirky and spunky little boy so much! Thank you Lord for this challenge of a young boy! Without him, I wouldn't have seen how You can use a small boy to beat all odds and change hearts of many around him!

Elijah.... I can't believe he is 7 months old! He is such a happy little baby! I love spending so much time with him! I continue to look at him in disbelief and joy that this our bundle of joy! Elijah started sitting by himself at about 5 months. He cut two teeth a week apart at about 6 months. He absolutely loves making noises and has learned to be very vocal in our house! Elijah enjoys books so much that he gets so excited when I pull one out to look at and read with him. His favorite book, currently, is Fun Time Baby. Simple, but he loves it! He is eating foods now, which he is a huge fan of. This little one is trying to feed himself, which becomes a big mess, but he loves it! Nicholas is a great big brother to him and Elijah loves to watch Nick play or just sit with him while Nick plays with his legos. Our entire family is still overflowing with joy with our little Elijah! God has been so good to us and for that we are so thankful!!



So what's next? We seem to get the same questions again and again....

1. So are you going to adopt again? A big "absolutely, yes!"

2. When are you going to start the process again? We hope after Elijah turns one, but when God calls us to start the process again...we will follow Him.

3. Are you going to adopt a girl this time? Well, We would love a girl, but we will adopt the child or children God desires for our family.

4. Are you going to keep working next year or stay home? Our desire is for me to stay home next year and we continue to pray God's will and provision to enable me to stay home.

These being answered...we continue to listen to God for his vision for our family and our future. In the meantime, our prayer is that God's heart for adoption will overflow through our family into the hearts of others around us. We have seen this and continue to see this prayer being answered as those around are beginning to capture the heart of the Father!

If you feel you might be interested or have questions about adoption or just want to pray for those who might want to adopt, we can help you get involved. Please ask me how!

....Until you walk a week in our shoes.

The months and years before Nick became an official Stewart in our family, I remember thinking, "All he needs is structure, a better diet, and consistency." As he started Kindergarten for the 2nd time, I would hear, "He really is 'active." He can't seem to sit still. Nick can't keep his hands to himself." This list goes on. I refused to consider medication for Nick, knowing the possible side effects of these medications and truly wanted to believe that a change in environment would improve all of this. He is not what you say. He is not ADHD! Well, after we adopted Nick and he had been with us for over year, these "symptoms" did not go away. At the start of 2nd grade, in a small private school, Nick came to me after school one day and said, "mom, I can't do this. I can't focus like the other kids. They can listen to the teacher. I can't." My heart sank. We called the pediatrician and did what I had dreaded for the past 3 years. We gave Nick medicine for ADHD. He began to focus at school and his confidence improved. Wow, we can do this!
Little did we know that children with ADHD are not "fixed" just with medication. This diagnosis has become a whole new ballgame! As a speech therapist and one who researches everything and will go any distance to help her children I though I knew what we were up against. I read, children with ADHD need consistency with some flexibility. Children with ADHD need gross motor activities. Children with ADHD need low sugar diets. Children with ADHD need lots of patience. Children with ADHD need structure and limited stimulation. I remember telling myself, "I can do this. We can do this. I thrive on structure." This seem fairly easy and manageable, but boy was I wrong!

What did they not tell me? They did NOT tell that Children with ADHD will have to have revolving discipline/consequences (the same consequence will not always work. We have to change reinforcement and consequences on a weekly basis). They did NOT tell me that when their medicine is coming out of their system, they are miserable to be around. They did NOT tell me that they will do anything in their power to control you and everything around them, no matter the consequence. They did NOT tell me that you have to constantly follow them to make sure they do not hurt themself when unattended. The list could go on!

My plea to those who see parents in a store dealing with a child who "looks out of control and ADHD" that you do not judge until you have walked a week in their shoes. Let me take you through a day with our child with ADHD or perhaps a snip it of little windows of our life with ADHD.

Each morning, Nick is woken up at 6:30a to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush his teeth, put items in backpack and go to school. This is the routine every morning, no suprises. This is what we would love to happen, but does it?
"Nick it's time to get up?" He rolls over, "no!" "Nick, you need to get into the shower, so you have time for breakfast this morning. I know I would be awfully hungry, if I didn't get breakfast." Nick: "I don't care!!" Parent: "Well, that's your choice. Good luck with that." About ten minutes later and Nick is still in bed. Parent: "Nick you have to get out of bed, right now! It's not an option!" ..as we are now pulling him out of the bed and guiding him into the bathroom. "Nick flush the toilet, please!" ....Nick finally makes it into the shower and sits there until the bathroom is foggy and we again have to drag him out to get dressed. Parent: "Nick you need to get your clothes on." Nick is singing, running around, and doing everything but getting dressed. Parent: "Guess what, you now ony have time for yogurt and cheerios instead of a warm breakfast." Nick: "no! I have time. You just watch. I will have a warm breakfast!!" as he is attempting to get dressed. He walks away and then gets distracted by something and starts to play in his room. Parent: "Are you going to go school in your underwear or your clothes, today?" Nick: "no!" Parent: "Well, I hope not." He finally gets dressed and runs to get what he thinks is going to be a hot breakfast and instead finds his cheerios and yogurt waiting for him. And start meltdown. Nick: "I want a sausage biscuit! I'm not eating this! Give it to me now!!" Parent: "Nick this is all you have time for and if you don't sit down and eat now, then you will not eat anything." Nick: "then I'm not eating!" Parent: "that's fine!" Nick: "Fine, I will eat!" While eating, he manages to get yogurt all over the table and on his shirt. He continues to sing and jumps around all over the place. Parent: "Nick go brush your teeth!" Nick still prancing and playing around. Most days Nick barely makes it to school with his hair combed, teeth brushed, and shoes tied. Those are just battles we are not willing to fight at this point. We are relieved to get him out the door in one piece. It is one thing to say that this might happen one day a week, but it doesn't! This is every day! It is exhausting!! This is only the mornings for us! So, as his medicine kicks in, he starts to listen, and be the sweet child we know he truly is, but he is off to school to share that side of him with everyone else!!

It's 3 'o' clock...time to pick up Nick from school. This is normally a happy time for parents to have their precious children return home to them after a long day a school. Most come home with 30 minutes of homework, that they will sit down to do with little guidance and will get to go out and play. Not with a child with ADHD. Most of these children have struggled all day long, even with medicine in their system, to stay focused and hold it together. These are the kids that come home with homework and the parents have to fight with them to get it done. Let me put it into real life for you. Nick is at a small private school, so that he is pushed to learn beyond his limts, but this school has been amazing to recognize his learning disability and help him where he needs to be helped. Regardless, he still comes home with homework...probably more than most kids, because he is working so hard at trying to sit still that he can't focus on getting class work done too. Well, when he is home to do homework (Nick does some homework in the car on days that he is in gymnastics ...monday, wednesday, friday) our routine is as follows: Parent: "Nick, it's time to get your folders out and get this homework completed." Nick: "I need a snack." Parent: "that's fine, then sit down and start your homework. Let's start with this first." Nick: "wait, I have to go to the bathroom." Parent: "That's fine, anything else?" Nick: "no." Homework has commenced as I'm sitting there, baby in lap to guide him through it. Most days his medicine is still in his system to finish his homework...thank goodness. About 6pm or 7pm, the medicine is out, and all hope is lost for homework. It then becomes a battle of wills to even get something written on the page. This not only wears me out, but him out as well, but an ADHD child worn out, doesn't mean tired, it means wild and out of control, and mean. DONE! We are done! Again...gratefully, we have a school that now understands this, allows him time with a tutor at school to work on homework during the day. The evening begins...medicine out of system. Dinner time...fairly normal, but with excessive talking and food not quite staying on his plate....if you have been to my house at dinner....you have seen this in action! Dinner as ended, time for bedtime routine...again..the same every night since 2nd grade! Head to the bathroom to take care of business....yes, we have to schedule this for our child, otherwise, he would not take time to do it....I'm serious! After 20minutes of sitting and playing, we have to drag him out of the bathroom. Time to put jammies on....yet another battle...brush teeth....we brush for him, because, he may not have had time in the morning to brush. ...and bedtime (book, prayer, and to sleep.) Some nights, this is war too! Won't go into detail, but imagine a 3 year old bedtime battle...that's what we can deal with! We are now fully exhausted and ready for bed ourselves...no time to talk are relax before bed. We have had to stay on our child from the time he got home from school until he went to bed!

These were just our routine events that happen on a school day...it doesn't include times in the store, down time at home, or other family activities. We are constantly on edge to make sure he is not getting into something unsafe, such as pulling batteries out of things and putting them in others, playing with tools in the garage, or tearing apart the sunroom/playroom, that he hasn't wandered across the store because he finds something he has to touch or play with or wanders to another aisle because the aisle he is in is now too boring to stay, thus begins the search for him! Recently, he has developed a defiance that is unnerving and magnifies all of the above ventures.

Why, write and share this? This is not for sympathy or a pat on the back. This is truly for a better understanding of parents of children with ADHD. When you see one of these children walk into school, clothes inside out, hair a mess, and breakfast down their shirt, don't judge the parent. When this child walks into your classroom and their homework is incomplete, don't judge the parent. When you see this child running/wandering through Target and the parent yelling for them to stay with them, don't judge the parent. When you see this child openly defy or ignore their parent's instruction, don't judge this parent. Parents of children with ADHD are usually giving all that they have to survive the day and raise their child as best that they know how. Perhaps a word of encouragement instead of a glance of disgust would be nice. So, until you have walked a week in the shoes of a parent with a child with ADHD, don't judge them.

So blessed!

After Bath time

Nick and Eli

Eli's Dedication

Wow, our little guy is a little over 2 months old. Words cannot even describe the joy and love I have for this little one! Elijah is so incredibly precious and amazing! I am so honored to be able to have Eli as my son. Each night, as I am rocking Eli before bed, I praise God for this beautiful child, while gazing into his loving little eyes. My heart leaps everytime, yet I am completely humbled by this opportunity to raise him!

I think our whole family shares this joy that I have for Eli. I often catch Nick gazing at Eli with a sparkle in his eye, as if he, too, is still in awe of the amazing blessing God has given us. Nick refuses to move his booster seat, in the car, away from Eli's car seat. He may not be playing with him in the car, but he will just watch Eli sleep as we drive. Any opportunity Nick has, usually during homework or when he is suppose to be doing something, he will go and make faces, noises, and play with his little brother.

As for Jon.... "He's just so precious." That is what Jon says, every morning and every evening when he gets home from work. I am not kidding!

Our family is so in love with this child that God has so graciously given us and we are forever grateful that God has opened our hearts to his many children!

So what is Eli up to? Well, Eli is smiling, cooing, discovering his hands, and moving all over the place! He is such a happy and joyful baby! We rarely hear him cry, unless he is hungry or tired! He loves laying out on the floor and looking at the toys hanging from his playmat. He has recently working on increasing his tummy time. Was not a huge fan in the beginning, but he is slowing beginning to enjoy that time too (as long as mom is laying on the floor in front him). Eli is sleeping pretty good too! He wakes up only one time at night to eat! I think that's pretty good for a 2 and 1/2 month old! Honestly, I might miss my middle of the night date with my little one, once he does sleep through the night, completely! Talk about growing like a weed! Eli has grown out of a ton of clothes! He is wearing some 3-6 month old clothes, now! I do believe he is going to be tall. He has a long body and now his little legs are catching up and they are lengthening quite a bit! He is so beautiful!!!

Thank you so much for following our family as we brought our precious miracle home! Our prayer now is that God will continue to grow our family through adoption in the future. Keep a look out for our next journey! We hope to start this amazing journey for our third little angel this next summer! God has so many children waiting for homes and our hearts and home are willing and ready. "Father, your will is our will. Please continue to prepare our family, our hearts, and our finances for the family You are preparing us for. "

Oh....his adoption finalization is set for December 16th!

Bringing home Elijah!

These last few weeks have been .... well, I'm not even sure what words to use to describe the last few weeks! Where do I even begin? I will give you the quick version, b/c there is so much that has happened since my last entry. After our call on the 25th, things flew into a very quick whirlwind! On that following Monday afternoon (around 4 or 5 pm), our Guardian Angel case worker called me and asked, "so, how soon do you think you can get here?" I was a little baffled by the question until she informed me that our birthmom, was going into labor! There was no question in our minds what our decision was going to be...Let's go tonight! In less than 3 hours we were packed and heading to the airport to fly to Utah!

As we begin to check into the airport, Jodi, our case worker, calls and says, "Congratulations! You have a healthy baby boy. He is 7 pounds 3 ounces, 19 inches long!" We couldn't get there fast enough. With built anticipation we boarded our plan for our 3 hour flight, landed in Utah about Midnight and met Jodi to help guide us to our hotel. We had to wait until the morning to meet our new bundle of joy!

T, the birthmom, asked us to be at the hospital by 8am to meet her and our baby boy! We got there and were anxious, nervous, excited, and ready to meet both of them. As we walk into the room and laid eyes on our new son, my heart melted and immediately fell deeply in love with our precious little Elijah! At the same time my heart went out to T, the birthmom, and the most sacrificing decision she has made! We had the chance to sit down and talk to her and get to know her a little bit.

T is an absolutely beautiful woman. She is so sweet, kind, loving, and self sacrificing for her children. Although, her circumstances were unstable and her life crazy back home, she knew beyond a shadow of doubt that her little boy needed more stability and need our family. As we continued to talk with her, she told the story of how she chose our family for Elijah. She had received about 5 profiles on Wednesday, June 22nd, to review and to choose from. This stack did not include our profile. She felt that none of these families were the right family for her little boy, so she asked the agency for a few more. They obliged and found three additional families to show her. This is where we came in. I was called on Friday morning, June 24th, and was asked if we would like our profile shown to her, the only thing...mom is due on Thursday, June 30th. Well, after talking to Jon, we decided, why not! We have nothing to lose. We didn't think much about it after that because Jon's cousin was getting married the next day! God is so good, and He knew that this was our precious little guy!! We continued to talk to T and really began to like her so much.

The next few days were spent going back and forth from the hospital, waiting to spend time with Elijah, yet being careful not to hurt or step on T's feelings as this was such a hard decision for her. We continued to hold our breath until papers were signed on june 27th at 7:30pm. The following day, we waited for what seemed like hours for our son to be discharged from the hospital. We were finally able to bring our baby "home" well our hotel room. It was so surreal that we still were in this cloud of thinking that this is all a dream. That evening we had dinner with our birthmom and the caseworkers for the final good byes.

For the next few days we began our wait for the ICPC paperwork to get approved in Utah and then Texas in order for us to cross state lines with our new bundle of joy. I must say, those few days were the longest days ever! Trying to get a sleep routine in a hotel is not easy, but we were so excited about our son that it didn't seem to phase us. We had our son, Elijah James Stewart!

Well, that Friday, July 1st, we got our call from Jodi, saying our paperwork had been approved and we were free to go home. We booked our flight for Sunday, and got ready to bring Elijah home! Elijah was great on the plane trip home, sleeping the entire time!

As we arrived at the airport we were greeted by Jon's parents, sister, Kristi, and brother in law, Peter. "Welcome Home, Elijah James Stewart!"

In the midst of the craziness, God's hand was right in the middle of the whole adoption! We were able to pay for the whole adoption with grants, and money we had saved, minus the mom's medical expenses that we managed to put on a credit card. We were able to use gift cards for the hotel that we received from Jon's reward points from our bank cards. We actually thought they were going to pay for half of the cost, but as Jon went to pay for the room with our 2 $200 cards, the man swiped one and it pulled up with $400 on it. We ended up paying $90 for our hotel room! Really?! God, You are so good! It was little things like this that truly encouraged us that God was right in the middle of this whole journey! We still pray that God will provide the finances to pay for the remainder of the medical expenses! God is bigger and He has proven his faithfulness so far!!

I will continue to post about our journey with Elijah at home, but for now, the little man is getting restless...time to eat!!

Journey to bring our boy home!

Well, most of you know that we were matched late last night! God is so good!! I'm sure some of you want to know how it all happened, so here is God's hand moving in one full swoop!

This past week, we were really struggling with a couple of different birthmom situations and were shown to a birthmom on Monday after deciding, painfully, not to be shown to another. In the meantime, we noticed on one of the websites of a situation that became available, but were unable to call on it, since we were being shown to another birthmom. We found out on Tuesday that the birthmom did not choose us, so proceeded to look for the other situation we saw. It was gone. We assumed that it wasn't our baby and moved on. Well, late Friday afternoon, June 24th, a case worker from A Guardian Angel Adoptions called and asked if we would want to be shown to a birthmom that night! I called Jon, telling him the details and then mentioning the most shocking part, "and by the way, she is going to be induced in a week!" Hmmm....what do we do? We felt that we had nothing to lose, since we would be 1 of 6 families shown to this mom, Taneka. We released it into God's hands and went ahead with our plans for Lane's wedding!!

We had a fabulous time at Lane and Andrew's wedding on Saturday evening and headed back home about 10:30pm or so. I decided to check my phone to see if anyone had called and sure enough I had a voicemail. The caseworker that presented our profile to Taneka called and said, "I will be up late this evening, please give me a call when you get this." Well, I hated to call at 11pm at night, so I sent her a text message saying, "Sorry this is so late. This is Tiffany Stewart. Just getting home from cousin's wedding. Can call tomorrow?" Her response, "If you call me tonight I'll tell you some really good news ;)" We all know what I did, immediately! I called her! She said, Taneka has chosen you guys for her baby boy! We were so excited, words cannot express the emotions that filled the car up! Nick was super excited and immediately named our little boy! Nick says, "it's a boy! We are going to call him, Elijah! We can call him Eli!" Well, okay then! We looked up the name, Elijah, and it's meaning is, "Lord is my God." Perfect! Elijah, it will be. When we got off the phone with the caseworker, of course we called as many as we could at midnight and text others. We had the cousins screaming with excitement, Mimi and Aunt Kristi in near tears with joy, and my little brother dumbfounded at what just happened. Needless to say, Jon and I could not sleep last night due to excitement and a little anxiety about the fast approaching due date. We had so much to do in so little time.

I think we finally fell asleep about 2:30am. I popped out of bed at 8am by the sound of my phone going nuts with texts and facebook congrats! I immediately started the task of lists of what to do and questions to ask. Called me dear friend, Mandy, for advice and comfort in this crazy time. Jon got up and we started the grueling process of booking flights, hotels, and other things. It has taken us all day to get things situated, but it has been done! We weren't sure where some of the financing was going to come from for some of this, so we gave it over to the Lord, asking, "Lord we know this is your timing and we know you will provide." Sure enough...He is faithful! Jon's dad gifted us with airline miles to fly us into Utah! Our bank cards had enough points saved up to help pay over half of our hotel costs, and USAA pulled through on the car rental. Okay....what about the baby...he has nothing to wear, drink from, or come home safely in! Jon's best friend, Matt Resers' mom...pulled through on behalf of our God! They called saying, "we want to take you, today, to get a car seat for your baby." So off to Babies R Us we went! Wow, what a blessing! So grateful and overwhelmed by the love of our friends!! While we were there we got the essentials for Elijah while we are in Utah, some onsies, a few bottles, some pacifiers, blankets, etc. As we were walking around the store, Jon's mom called, "Jon, my Bible study group would like to get your pack N play for you! Pick it out while you are there and we will get it while you are gone!" Really!? So blessed!

Now, our sweet little Nicholas...what to do. We planned on having him stay with his Mimi and Pop, but knew they were under a lot of stress and really busy with their moving. My sister and husband were planning on coming through Dallas on Thursday and Friday on their way to our annual 4th of July at our dad's (which we will miss this year) and offered to take Nick with them so he could spend time up there! Great! Nick was pumped! Then my dad calls and says, "Let Nick stay here the rest of the time you are gone." Nick flew through the roof! The idea of spending time with his Uncle Brett and Papa made his day!! My dad is going to bring Nick back home when we get home and then get to see his new grandbaby! God is so good!

Okay, during all of this Jon was a little stressed, well, a lot stressed, because we are still a bit short some of our funds. We have had some wonderful friends add funds. $200 here and $500 there and our precious family to help and we are so blessed by them and their support for us. Every little bit helps in these emergency situations and we are so grateful for family and friends that are stepping in to fill in our financial gaps. We know we are still in need of funding for the medical bills, but we are trusting in God's provision and know He will provide!

Please pray for Jon, Nick, Elijah, and Taneka during this extremely exciting, stressful, and emotional time for a family.

Here are some specific ways you can pray:

Please pray for:

*Safety in Travel to Utah
*The birth of our little boy
*For Taneka's heart and willingness to give her child life
*All paperwork to go smoothly and without a glitch
*For our ICPC to go to and from Texas easily and quicky so we can return home with Elijah
*Preparing Nicholas for the time apart from him
*Continued provision of finances for our adoption
*Peace, wisdom, guidance, and patience for Jon and I as we encounter new and stressful situations

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support! We are so extremely blessed and did I mention, God is so good!

We will keep you posted as we continue to bring our little boy home!

Wow! It's been a year!

Wow! It's been a year since this journey began! We can't believe it either! Many ups and downs have happened throughout this past year, but a lot of new wisdom and lessons taught. You truly don't realize the process and toll that adopting can take on you until you have been through it. At least that is how we feel now....and we aren't on the other side, yet!

Well, with a year anniversary comes a lot more paperwork and things to do.....AGAIN! The state of Texas (and just about any state now) requires you to keep your homestudy, background checks, and all other clearances updated once a year. This means....our local caseworker, Amy, will be paying another home visit to our family to complete another homestudy...this will be our 3rd one, including the one we had done for Nicholas's adoption. I guess we just need to set a yearly date with Amy, since we will continue to expand our family through adoption periodically.. So....we meet with Amy on Tuesday evening to talk about what has happened in the last year, if we continue to feel the same about adoption, if any health issues have popped up, and every other detail of our lives. In addition, we have an appointment Monday afternoon to have our fingerprints done for our Texas criminal background checks and clearances. We also will fill out forms for the child abuse/neglect clearances for the state so they can run those. Don't forget we have to be fingerprinted for the FBI, too. For this one we get to pay a visit to the local police station and get fingerprinted! Sounds like fun doesn't it? One day, we will be able to do all of this in one step.....we can only hope. Let me remind you...we have already done all this twice before..... On a positive note...at least I am off for the summer so I can take of this stuff rather quickly.

So, those are the facts! Now what about the feelings about all this? Well, how would you feel going through this for your children on a yearly basis? It really puts things into perspective for families that have a family through adoption. Bringing our babies home is not a 9 month waiting period of excitement! It has it's many ups and downs...and...it last twice as long.....as long as 18 months for some. I continue to pray that people's hearts continue to soften for adoption for the many children waiting to come home to their forever families. I pray for the couples that easily conceive their children will be able to see God's heart for the families that adopt their children and can offer support, love, and understanding into their longing to bring their children home.

Okay, okay....Jon and I have been very frustrated the last couple of weeks, just knowing that we have to do all of this again, without our baby! We have to remind ourselves, daily, to give it over to God. Today was a little more difficult for me, though. As I waited on answers, I kept asking God, "Please, Lord...still my restless, controlling heart. This is in your hands, not my own. Your plan is so perfect and I trust You in your timing!" Honestly, that was not easy. I think I repeated that about 50 times in a matter of 2 hours! Each time, I felt God comforting me and telling me, "I have this. Trust me." He sure did. I got all my questions answered and appointments made for our homestudy. One step done!

As far as birthmoms seeing our profile.....it is starting to pick up again for the number of possible children up for adoption. We continue to wait on the Lord for His perfect timing and the perfect child for the Stewart family. I don't normally mention this on here, but we are, possibly, being shown to a birthmom this weekend. As always, our hearts are guarded, but our hope remains in the Lord. Please pray with us for this precious birthmom as she makes a difficult decision for a child and for God's perfect plan for our family. (Perhaps, a little prayer of God's favor over our family, too, as she looks through profiles? ;) ) All we know is that it is out of our hands.....

As I was writing this, Nick began writing a small note of how this whole process has affected him. I ask for his permission to put it in here for you, so that you can see the heart of our child.

"Our adoption is scary. I felt like we were not going to a baby. But my mom and my dad did not get scared. I don't care if the baby is a boy or a girl. I don't care if the baby is African American or white. It is in God's time. I was adopted and it was easy for my mom and to choose me. If they hadn't picked me, I would still be in a foster home. There were hundreds of me's, but they chose me. So I am just hoping that God will let us have a baby and if not soon, then we will keep waiting for our adoption." --- Thanks you, by: Nicholas

Wow! We are so truly blessed by such an amazing child! I am so thankful that he is a part of this journey with us, because I love his child like perspective and thoughts throughout.

Again, we are so blessed for so many family and friends who are truly supporting us in our journey through prayer, emotional support, and with finances. Our God is so amazing!! We are beyond blessed by His goodness each and every day. Let me leave you with what Jon and I say each morning in our prayer time together.

"Lord, our hope is in You, not in what lies in front of us or behind us. We continue to trust You in every aspect of our lives."