Moving forward with our adoption....

As many of you know, we are in the process of adopting our third little one.  You also know, that this has been in direct obedience to God's call on our family.  We are in complete reliance and trust in Him when it comes to funding our adoption and many have prayed and helped in our adoptions.  We are forever grateful for you support in bringing a child into the arms of our family and out of the possibility of an orphan.  We are currently working with Lifesong through a Matching grant to help with part of our funding.  If you feel called to help with this part of our adoption, please read the letter below.  Even if you wish to pray, specifically, for this adoption, please read this letter.  We are so grateful for all of your love, support, and prayers as we walk this road of obedience to our Father.

April 14, 2013                                                                                                                                                            

Dear Family and Friends,

This past November, we felt prompted by the Lord to continue to expand our family and adopt a third child, a baby from the United States. At the time, the urging from the Lord surprised us. From a financial perspective, we didn’t seem ready for a third adoption. We were still in the process of rebuilding our reserves from Elijah’s adoption. However, something that our adoption journeys for Nick and Elijah have taught us is: “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps,” Proverbs 16:9. Ready or not, the Lord said “Move,” so we began…again.

After Elijah’s adoption, we knew that we were not done adopting. However, God’s calling on us to adopt is more than about us having a bigger family. Adoption is very much on the heart of Our Heavenly Father. Psalm 68:5,6 reads, “A father to the fatherless…God sets the lonely in families….” God uses adoption to change a child’s story. Nick’s birth mom was an alcoholic, and Elijah’s birth mom was homeless. Tiffany and I often wonder: Where would they be without adoption? More importantly, where would they be without many of you? If you are reading this letter, it’s because you have sown into both of their lives in such amazing ways. Now, will you help us change another child’s story?

The biggest challenge facing us is the finances to bring our third child home. We estimate the total cost for the adoption agency fees, document preparation, and attorney fees to be $30,000. This is money we do not have right now, but we know God is faithful and will supply all our needs. By God’s grace, we have raised $10,000 thus far between our own funds, the generosity of others in a TShirt fundraiser, and Jon’s employer reimbursement. Some of you may be aware of another fundraiser that we attempted. It did not pan out as we had hoped, but God told us to “rest in Him.” So, here we are.

 Honestly, our family is very humbled having to ask our family and friends for additional financial support. However, God has called us to be in community within the Body of Christ, and He has called us to make our needs known to fellow brothers and sisters. We are so blessed by your friendship, and we would like to ask you to pray and consider helping us in our adoption. There are two ways you can help change another child’s story:

1. Prayer – Please pray for our precious baby. Pray for a healthy pregnancy for the baby and the birth mother. Pray for the birth mother that God would give her peace and comfort as she prepares her heart to place her child for adoption. Pray that God would prepare the hearts of Nicholas and Elijah to have a new baby sister/brother.

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2. Financial Support – Please prayerfully consider making a tax deductible donation to help us pay the remaining $20,000 to bring our baby home.

Lifesong for Orphans (www.lifesongfororphans.org) and Legacy685 have partnered together to create a $2,500 Matching Grant on our behalf. So, whatever you give is doubled.

If you feel led to support us financially, please make checks payable to: “Lifesong for Orphans” and write this information in the memo line “preference Stewart #3546 adoption.”  *Note. In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non profit organization. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.               

Please mail checks to:

            Lifesong for Orphans

            PO Box 40 / 202 N. Ford St.

            Gridley, IL 61744

Thank you so much for helping us to change a child’s story with your prayers and financial support.  Investing in this child’s life is an investment with an eternal return! (Matt 6:20). We will be sure to keep you updated as our adoption progresses.

Resting in Him,

Jonathan, Tiffany, Nicholas, and Elijah Stewart

http://stewartfamilyjourney.blogspot.com

Mothers...See as God sees you....

The woman I see is completely different than the woman God sees.  I see a woman struggling to understand, taking each day in grace and mercy with difficult decisions to make for her children's futures.  Hoping that each decision is not the wrong one.  I see a woman whose body is ripping to shreds and decreasing in size as  the years advance.  I see and feel a daily physical pain inside my body that won't subside, regardless of doctors' tests and medicines.  I see weakness in my faith, even though God has proven over and over again his faithfulness to me.  I see my short comings as a wife, a mother, as a friend, as a sister, a daughter.  Am I supportive enough and encouraging enough to my husband?  Am I raising my children the way God desires me to raise them?  Am I understand of their needs?  Am a friend to those in need or just need to talk?  Am I good listening ear?  I see my lack of trust in provision, even as God has provided when He called me to stay at home.  I see a veil covering the miracles that God wants to rain over my life because I can't seem to fall, completely, into His arms, letting go of all expectations I have set for myself.  I see a human girl wanting to be free of these struggles, diseases, and worries.  I wand to let go...I want to be free...Don't you?

As I look into the mirror with these exact thoughts overflowing my heart, my mind, and my whole being...a feeling of anxiety and fear begin to creep in, until God shuts it out and says, "STOP."  Close your eyes and see what I see...

My beautiful daughter.... A daughter of the Most High!  Daughter, I see a daughter, a woman that loves until she can't love no more.  I see a daughter who is a mother to all; to children of others, a mother of orphans, a mother to the sick, a mother to those in need.  I see a daughter living each day to please Me and Me alone.  I see a daughter sacrificing for her children, giving up the career she worked years for, to raise them to see Me as Me and not the world's view of God.  A woman who sacrifices her time to sit and teach her children and lend a listening ear to anyone in need.  A daughter who sacrifices everything to be the best mother, daughter, friend, wife, and sister she can strive to be.  I see a daughter who sits and prays for her family, her children, her father, her sisters and brothers and prays them to see Me and love Me and as I desire.  I see her pouring blessings over people she comes into contact with.  Daughter..please see this vision.  Look deep within and see the woman I see:

                                I see my daughter dancing, freely, in my rays of light without worry, 
                             without pain, without disease, without fear, and in my glorious presence.  

Daughter, see what I see and walk with me into the life I desire for you.  You are a precious jewel and a beautiful creation in my sight.  Remember, what I see is how I want you to see yourself, so that you may walk in my freedom and my kingdom.  Never forget....


You are a daughter of the Most High, therefore you are Royalty, deserving all                                                       my riches and glory as you walk with Me.

5 years ago, God confirmed his promise....Nick

Wow!  5 years ago, today, Nicholas went from being orphaned for the second time to being our sweet son!  The 6 month journey leading up to this most amazing moment in our lives was not so easy, but completely worth it.

I reflect on the past five years and remember the wonderful moments and the extremely trying moments, but each moment shared with a child placed into our home on this very day five years ago.  I remember that day, vividly, as does Nick.  Sitting outside the judge's courtroom, waiting patiently with a six year old, five days shy of being 7 years old and the feeling of joy swelling my heart.  The excitement and happiness in Nick's eyes were unforgettable, knowing that he was with his mom and dad, forever!



Nick has brought so much joy to Jon and my heart and confirmed God's calling on our lives through his adoption.  God has turned an orphan into a vessel of hope and true perseverance in God's plan over our lives.  We are so grateful for May 6th and will forever celebrate this day in our family!  The day that we aligned our hearts with God's vision for our family and the adoption of this precious kid!

Moving our Mountains...

We all have mountains in our lives that are constantly taunting and disappointing us on a daily basis.  Do you ever wish you could just say get out of my way?  Do you ever wish you could look at it from above, hoping it looks smaller?  When looking out of an airplane window, do you ever look down over the earth and see mountains and think how small they look from this high up?  Almost as if you could just walk across them... As if there were no valleys or mountains..  I imagine this is the view God has and that he wants us to see.

"Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain.  And the glory of The Lord will be revealed..." Isaiah 40:4-5

"Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low..." Luke 3:5

A time where mountains fall into the earth and valleys raise up, bringing our own mountains crashing down and we are living on a path where valleys are no more!  Our pain, obstacles, struggles....mountains are below our feet.  Our heartache, frustration...valleys are no longer a step down, but a step over and across.  This is God's hope and future for us now and forever.  When we see our lives from the seat in an airplane, are we able to see what God intended our mountains and valleys to look like or are we standing at the bottom looking up at it?

God has been directly speaking to Jon and I about our mountains and valleys, although at the time I had no idea this Word was going to come from it, I know now how he intricately works in our hearts to not only minister to us but others.  

Let me tell the mountains and valleys our family seems to be standing at the bottom of...

1. Our adoption...of course... We know...only because we have spent many days and nights in prayer and communication with God about.... That this is Gods plan, but we are facing major funding mountains.  We have only raised $1000 in a 4 month time frame.  As I mentioned before, we tried other fundraisers, but with no avail.  Where did this leave us?  At the feet of Jesus and in our mindset..in a deep valley at the bottom of a mountain.  

2. My health.  Some know that I have been undergoing a number of tests to determine the root of my debilitating stomach pains.  I went gluten free for about two months and have felt about 90% better.  I just recently had another blood test checking for celiacs disease ...still no results.  This has upended my world...and our grocery bill!  I felt I was getting my health back on track and this occurs.  I felt as though I was thrown into a valley and digging my way out.  Most days I feel 100% better, which is a huge change, but the not knowing is highly frustrating. 

3. Nicks diagnosis.  This has been an ongoing mountain for us.  Why a diagnosis?  Well, we need help for Nick!  I know he is not outside the scope of God, but sometimes I feel he is outside the scope of me.  Climbing the continuously growing mountain of doctors, specialists, and paperwork, has left me slipping down this mountain grasping at anything that will get my child and us through each day without a huge meltdown.

4. This next one is so very personal and will probably make others mad, upset, or uneasy, but it is a mountain... There are some tensions with my side of the family that breaks my heart on a daily basis.  The idea of unforgiveness is so frustrating to me and I just want my family to love each other, faults and all.  We are far from perfect and sometimes Satan snags our heart and life for a moment and we lose Gods vision for us, but He always loves and draws us into his arms..if we let him.  I feel as though this unrest has us sitting in a valley and we are thrashing around in quicksand and can't get out because we won't reach our hand to the other for help and forgiveness.  I love my family dearly and want desperately for reconciliation.

As I lay these out there...my heart beats rapidly at opening up so deeply to others, but Gods intentions  for this was not for me....

"Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to there and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

I may only have faith of a mustard seed, but it's continuously growing. Jesus said, "faith of a mustard seed...tell that mountain to move".  I plan to tell each one of my mountains to move and let him raise me out of the valleys I am in.

I don't know about you, but I want the view God sees to be the view I see.  The view from the window of an airplane.  Each mountain crashing into the earth before me and the valleys raising to my feet, so I may clearly see the face of God in front of me.  Although these mountains still stand before me, I write this now in hopes for accountability to keep praying for us as we stand in God's promise to move these mountains to bring us closer to our new baby, a specific reasoning for my health, a diagnosis and help for my Nick, and reconciliation in my family.  Please stop and ask...it's a reminder that God is for us and we have others praying with us.

"Trust in me and I will provide, so all the glory may be given to Me."

"Trust in me and I will provide, so all the glory may be given to Me."

Jon and I both had to step back this past week and listen to what God was trying to tell us for the past month.  We all get so busy in life and in our expectations of how things should be that we don't always see what God is putting right in front of us or trying to teach us.  

Do you remember when I posted about our first call into this third adoption and how God was telling me that each adoption is a journey in which He will teach us and increase our faith in Him.  He specifically spoke three things into my heart for this adoption, trust in Him, He is our provision, and He will be glorified.  Although, I understand what God meant, I didn't always walk in these truths and challenges.  As we began to fill out applications for grants, we still trusted in God's provision....for the most part.  We had been discussing fundraiser opportunities in addition to the shirts we were/are selling and came up with one that we thought for sure was going to help.  I put a lot of time into finding donations and making videos and writing e-mails.  All through this process, though, one thing was missing.  Our complete trust in God's provision!  We worried that no one would step up and tried to push this fundraiser for two weeks with no avail.  We had one person step into the role of a Team Leader, but this was not enough.  We truly felt defeated and frustrated.  That's when we went before the Lord....something we should have been doing since the beginning and continued doing.  

We BOTH felt God saying pursue and move forward, because I will provide.  "My dear children...you must trust Me."  We went ahead and sent applications, profiles, and homestudies to two agencies with not enough money in our worldly bank, but with a complete trust in God's provision.  While those went in the mail, we dug deeper into God's Word and listening each day to what He wants to say and do, not what we want to say and do.  We sit and pray each morning, handing this over to Him and trusting Him completely in each detail, including the funding for this baby.  Our hearts are longing for our little one and feel that she is currently growing in waiting for us.  We still haven't seen the worldly provision for this adoption, but are trusting God in His plan for our little one.

Jon and I would like to ask you...are you willing to dig deep and pray alongside of our family in faith for God's timing, provision, and guidance with this adoption?  

Why Adopt, again?

So many things happening within our family and I just can't seem to keep up, but I know this question, "Why Adopt, again?" must weigh on many of your minds.  This question stirred my heart for a long time before we moved forward with this third adoption.  So I dug deeper to understand the meaning of why we are on this path to adopt, again.

Why adopt?  Lord, I ask you this question, daily.  Is this truly my heart, only, or is this your ultimate desire and heart for our family?  Am I being selfish, when I have the most amazing husband and two precious boys?  Perhaps, you may think I am not content with my family of boys.  I struggled with this thought and still do at times, but God always brings me to His heart and reminds me.  "This is my heart.  Please stop questioning my desire for your family."  So that being said, I feel God reminds me, "Tiffany, you are more content with your life and family than even you know, but my heart is not content until my will for your family is fulfilled.  My will is to fill your home with my orphans.  My desire is to fill your heart with so much love that you will always feel content no matter how many children I bring into your home.  My heart is to fill your cup up and run it over with love and joy, so that your heart continues to pour out and spill over the joy and love you have for my orphans, your children."

WOW!!  Such an amazing confirmation that I must move forward within His will and trust Him at all times.  I still struggle, daily, with trusting, completely and whole-heartedly that the provision will be there, but God knows how, when, and where things will come from for all of our children!

Doesn't make sense?  Then listen to this....

God set his will in motion for adoption in our family before I was even born.  Through Jon's grandfather and my mother, God placed his heart of adoption on our family before Jon and I ever met.  You see, Jon's grandfather grew up in an orphanage because his parents were unable to afford his care. My mother always had a heart for the orphans, so she became a foster mom and adopted our first son to remind us that every child is a gift, no matter the disability.  Jon and I struggled with fertility for 8 years for reasons only God knew the answer to, which led us to adoption, but ultimately, God's hand was in our family since before we were both born!!  God closed a door, so that we would walk through the door that He had for us.  Adoption.

Am I pursuing pregnancy?  You know you want to know.
I am not.  My heart is no longer there.  My heart is singing and shouting adoption to bring these children into a home.  I will admit.  Once in a blue moon I am wonder what it would be like to be pregnant, but those thoughts are fleeting when I see my children and the amazing gift they are to me.  Someone once said to me, "there is something about giving birth to your "own" baby that truly makes you a mother."  Although, this was hard to hear at the time, I know in my heart that this is not from the Lord, because pregnancy and birth of child doesn't make you a mother.  God makes you a mother.  I am a mother!   I am a mother to my two beautiful boys and will be the mother of many more to come, because God has called me a mother to his orphans.  If I could walk into an orphanage and take every child home, I would, but you know what stands in the way?  Next topic....

If I could walk into an orphanage and take each child home with me, I would, but what stands in the way?  Unfortunately, the cost that society has placed on these lives.  As someone mentioned in a blog I read, "the price God paid for ransom of our life is much greater than the cost that we will pay to ransom the life of a child."  It may cost us over $35,000 for each child we will bring into our home, but the price Jesus paid for me to live with Him is far greater.  I will live for an eternity with my Father, because of the ransom He paid.  Nicholas and Elijah will now be able to know the love that their Heavenly Father has for them, because we ransomed for their lives.  Yes, it is costly in our material world, but is a forever gift that brings a child into Jesus' arms.  There are more children that need to be swept into the arms of Jesus through adoption.  Their ransom may seem high, but ask yourself where would you rather these children be?  In the arms of our Father or in the snares of the world?  Each donation to our adoption or for others adopting helps brings our children into the arms of Jesus, rescuing them from the snares of the enemy.

We are currently selling shirts for our adoption, but we are about to launch our 2nd fundraiser in hopes that we can rescue our next child sooner than we think we can.  We know that God's timing and provision are perfect, so we continue to trust Him.  Keep your eyes open for the next fundraiser that will be tax deductible if you want to help bring these children in the arm's of our Father or if your heart is swelling to help now, you may donate directly to paypal, knowing that 100% will be going to ransom a child's life!

Signing out to do laundry!

God's heart moves us again

About a month or so ago, God pressed into our hearts that his desire for our family was for it to start growing again.  I posted about that time how God had pressed into our hearts, but didn't share it with too many until we opened our hearts and God's heart to our family.  We also started praying daily...even through out the day...for God's provision to even get started.  Let me rewind a bit and share with you what I wrote about a month ago...

In the midst of the doctors appointments and changes in our life, God has decided to press into our hearts to start the process to adopt again.  We have been praying for at least 4 months, now, about God's timing and believe that our time is here to start the paperwork rolling to bring our next little one home.  I, personally, knew this was going to happen sooner than January, because my heart started aching for something I couldn't define.  After going to the Lord about this ache and this "missing piece," He showed me the pieces missing were his children longing to be in our home.  I talk to Jon about this and felt that this ache and longing wasn't going to go away on it's own and that God was going to fill it with his love and with our children.  I told him, "Jon, God is not done, yet, and He wants us to move now."  As you know, Jon has been very hesitant, because, I am staying home now and he is consumed in his job (which God called him out on, just last night).  After praying together, discussing, and listening to each other and the Lord, we decided it was time to take a leap of faith and watch God move.

 The scary thing, we have no idea how the funds will be there, but again, God says, "move over, I'm in control here.  Wait and trust me. "  We were told to make the first steps of contact and now we are waiting on the Lord for his provision.  He has to provide, because we are unable to do this on our own.  We know this is His voice, not ours, because who in their right mind starts an endeavor like this under the circumstances we are in?  Paperwork sits next me, filled out and ready to send to our consultant, but the check is empty, waiting for God to fill it in so we can fulfill his desires for our family.  

"Lord, this is in your hands.  I release it, fully and completely into your hands.  You know the exact amount needed to begin this process and You know exactly where it's coming from.  You have our children picked and ready for your kingdom and our family.  We wait for you, Father.  My heart continues to ache as the Father aches for his children to come home.  They are waiting for us as we are waiting on you, Lord.  We are ready to bring them home, but only in your timing and under your hands."

A little over a month later, we are ready to share with everyone God's heart for our family and how God has started moving.  Through this past month, God has reminded me that He holds our hearts and our children's hearts in the palm of His hand and to keep trusting Him.  We continued to ask the Lord, "Father, we know this is your will, please give us wisdom as we start getting paperwork started, home study done, etc. and Lord, you are our provider and will provide in your perfect time."  We clinged to His promise and His Word.  

Jon and I were nervous, yet excited to come before our parents to share God's heart for us and the new adventure that God has us on.  As I told my dad, he was very happy and excited that we were expanding our family once again. Whew...relief! We, then told Jon's parents on Thanksgiving weekend and opened our hearts that this was going to be completely God!  I know that when God calls you into something impossible, not only will He make it possible, but He will be glorified all the way through it!!

Even after telling our parents, we still continued to pray for provision, because we still had to come up with the finances to pay our consultant and our case worker.  We had begun working on a fundraising idea, but weren't sure how we were going to accomplish our idea.  The week after we told Jon's parents, we pressed into God's heart and truly just released ourselves into His hands and God came through!  God blessed us with our consultant fee through a forgotten about annuity Jon had and our home study fee was provided through extra income this past month from Jon's hard work at his job.  Well, that's a start and God moved!  When we completely trust Him and step out in Faith, God will always answer and fulfill his promise!

So our home study has been complete, minus the FBI checks and some straggling references, but it is one step in the right direction. We will be connecting with our consultant this week and working on updating our profile.  When we have completed this, we will focus on fundraising and trusting God for provision before jumping onto agencies' lists.  

We struggled to figure out how to help begin to raise money, yet I had an idea and a t-shirt design that might represent our new journey that we could sell, but not a screen printer.  Well, just recently, a client of Jon's offered to screen print our shirts so that we could sell them to help with our adoption costs to bring home our next little one.  What?  God's timing has been so incredibly perfect that I cannot take credit for any of his work!!  This brings me to our shirt that we are starting to sell this week: 

So where does this come from?  Remember above what God impressed on my heart? 

Through this past month, God has reminded me that He holds our hearts and our children's hearts in the palm of His hand and to keep trusting Him.

This is a reminder that God is holding onto our hearts and our children's hearts as we wait for them to come home.  We would love for God's hand to impress into your heart, which will turn around and impress His heart and hand into our next child.  If you would like to purchase one of these shirts to support our next adoption, please e-mail me (jontiff01@yahoo.com) with your shirt size.  They are $16.  I will put orders in about every week and a half.  

We are so grateful for the ongoing love, support, and prayers that our friends and family have sent our way through this ongoing journey that God has our family on.  Thank you so much!!